DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
