bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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