As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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