My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
