I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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