Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
