I'm really into asian looking animals
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
