coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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