Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
