i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
