plz talk dirty to me
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
