kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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