Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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