How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
