i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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