I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
