You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
