you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
