Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
