Farmville is her only friend.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
