his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
