I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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