Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
that's an acceptable place to lick
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
