I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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