my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
