he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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