I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
try to milk me bitch
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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