i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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