I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Terrible idea I love it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
