Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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