she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
