I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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