Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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