I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
