she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
