I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
