so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize