i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
