omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
