today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
