I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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