FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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