If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
