My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
