I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
