What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
