____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have already put on my inside pants.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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