Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
