Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you inspire me to be a worse person
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize