Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
