We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
