They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
