I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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