Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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