I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
