Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
