Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
