is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
