I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
