You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
