She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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