toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
