Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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