Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The air was thick with penises
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
